He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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