my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
