if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
there is puke in my bra ... again
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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