hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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