So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize