i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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