you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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