I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize