I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Randomize
