By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
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Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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