I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
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Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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