Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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