I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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