I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
