A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
