Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize