Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She is in my trunk
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I have post one night stand depression
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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