I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
