Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
