is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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