Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
