Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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