I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
