Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
