She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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