New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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