Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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