It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
