you would pick up someone in the library
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
