Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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