I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
