I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
