You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
