I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
