they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Quick, to the slutcave!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
