The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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