If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
