What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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