Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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