I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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