Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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