I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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