her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I am one with the molecules
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
