did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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