I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
COCAINE IS GR8
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
