his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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