Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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