margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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