is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
