you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You've changed since you got that strap on
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
