i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
