Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
