i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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