Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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