I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
