I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
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He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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