I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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