My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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