That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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