I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
